Hurry up kids! Go grab yourself some tampons and a bottle of hooch…then join the millions of successfully wasted teens out there that are already enjoying this awesome buzz provided by shoving alcohol soaked tampons into various orifices! Here’s the news scoop:
What do you think? Bullshit? Yeah…but these ‘news’ idiots are calling it a fuckin pandemic, basically. Of course, in the classless style that the news is best known for, they take some random bullshit and sensationalize the shit out of it in order to get viewers interested. I’m sure there’s plenty of parents out there that watched this shit and decided it’s something they need to worry about. Yes, kids have tried this, but gimme a fuckin break. There’s no way that this is a ‘trend’. Unless of course you think kids enjoy doing shit that their buddies will talk shit on them for. It’s like auto-asphyxiation; yes there are people that do it, but it ain’t something that deserves prime-time news coverage. But, just like vodka tampons and asshole beer-bonging, the news sees an opportunity to prey on a parent’s need to keep their children safe and so they blow shit outta proportion to make things sound like a worthwhile threat. Retards.
So, the good news is that we can all get a nice buzz while at our desks now and not worry about the usual offensive alcohol breath. Party on!
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