Archive for the 'Drinks' Category
You can always open a beer with a lighter, like you’ve been doing since the 90’s, but don’t you think it’s time to step up your game a bit? Here’s how:
Here’s a free idea that’s worth a fortune: Invent a pocket chainsaw beer opener. I’m not sure whether a standard gas motor would be best or not, but I’m just the idea guy. Your job is to work out the kinks and make shit happen. Then it’s up to your marketing guy to make people think that they cannot live without this new pocket chainsaw beer opener. Pretty soon, you’re business will be as popular as flip-flop beer openers or belt-buckle openers. Only difference? Your shit will be way cooler.
If I could drink like this:
OMG Beer Bomb.
It’s Friday. Now you have something to do after work today. Don’t puss out, dude.
Like Guinness? Wanna pour that shit correct-like? Here’s how:
Pour a perfect pint of Guinness.
Black Diamond Brewing’s Rampage Imperial IPA.
The pour was a bit on the headless side, but that might have been my fault. Color is a nice clear copper tint.
Ahhh yea…the smell is that radical hop party that I’ve become so addicted to. The flavor is pretty light going into the mouth, but then the hop bite starts to kick in, along with some of the punch from the alcohol. Not surprising since this monster weighs in at 9.0% ABV. Actually, upon further inspection, the alcohol content becomes quite clear. It’s definitely noticable, but not in a bad way. This is just a big beer that brings with it a high octane punch. Once swallowed, the after-bite of hop bitterness is strong. More on the malty earth side than the citrusy and bright. Another observation is the carbonation level…while not overly carbonated, it is on the more bubbly side of things.
Lastly, I gotta say, the label is an eye-catcher. The dope elephant character with fire blazing in the eyes was calling my name. Props to whoever’s responsible for creating it.
Overall, good stuff with a nice kick. A 22oz. set me back $6.29 at BevMo.
Black Diamond Brewery is located in Concord, CA.
Hurry up kids! Go grab yourself some tampons and a bottle of hooch…then join the millions of successfully wasted teens out there that are already enjoying this awesome buzz provided by shoving alcohol soaked tampons into various orifices! Here’s the news scoop:
What do you think? Bullshit? Yeah…but these ‘news’ idiots are calling it a fuckin pandemic, basically. Of course, in the classless style that the news is best known for, they take some random bullshit and sensationalize the shit out of it in order to get viewers interested. I’m sure there’s plenty of parents out there that watched this shit and decided it’s something they need to worry about. Yes, kids have tried this, but gimme a fuckin break. There’s no way that this is a ‘trend’. Unless of course you think kids enjoy doing shit that their buddies will talk shit on them for. It’s like auto-asphyxiation; yes there are people that do it, but it ain’t something that deserves prime-time news coverage. But, just like vodka tampons and asshole beer-bonging, the news sees an opportunity to prey on a parent’s need to keep their children safe and so they blow shit outta proportion to make things sound like a worthwhile threat. Retards.
So, the good news is that we can all get a nice buzz while at our desks now and not worry about the usual offensive alcohol breath. Party on!
Want to get the most out of that $8 22oz. brew you just bought? Get the right glass for the job and learn to pour:
Info: Ethan Cox of Buffalo’s Community Beer Works (communitybeerworks.com) recommends better glassware for beer, and shows us how to properly pour it for full exposure and enjoyment.
I’m not a certified beer master, but I can definitely say that I pour a mean IPA. All these years of pouring have definitely made a difference and knowing how to pour really increases the flavor and drinkability. I do need to grab a different style glass though. That Duvel ‘Tulip Glass’ style is the one that I’ll be picking up next…foe show!
Tired of those folks behind the counter not being able to serve up a competent pour of your favorite watered-down macrobrew? Check out this solution:
Fucking. Genius. Seems like this little invention is gonna be making a shitload of arena attendees very happy. More beer. More faster. More better.