Dear Police,
We, like many folks around the world, know that we can’t directly get back at you for all the times that you’ve been insane dickheads, fucked with us for no reason, and/or let that position of power dangerously inflate your ego. Luckily, we have karma to rely on. Here’s a picture to help explain:

Karma: It’s a bitch.

A Rube Goldberg Machine that we all need:

Turnin pages by hand is for suckers.

I know we’ve all done this before, but…? :O

*No. We have not tried it before. We are not idiots.

Well, it’s Monday again and so why not set off the week with a insane reminder of how stupid Americans can be? Some of you retards actually voted for the king of retards. Yep, George ‘dubyah’ Bush.

To those of you that did in fact vote for that dude, I hope you realize the error of your ways…and also: you are a dumbshit. Yep, thanks to you and your retarded squad of religiously blind dumb-dumbs, this dude was in office for 8 full, fuckin years. We’ll be digging ourselves outta his mess for years to come.

Happy Friday, folks. Here’s some more Kate Upton action for you. Who’da thunk a Sports Illustrated swimsuit cover-model would do a commercial for a skate company?

What’s retarded is that this commercial was ‘banned’ from MTV and Adult Swim due to being too risque. And, according to dude at Zoo York, “showing an erect nipple.”
Where? Somebody freeze and zoom that for us!

Um…I’m gonna say it’s all marketing. Anything labeled as banned becomes a must-see for folks…especially with Kate Upton in the subject line.

Fuck those trendy ass heat lamps. Line up your friends and hit them on the back side with this piece:

The Supersoaker Flamethrower: guaranteed to keep you and your friends warm on those cold winter nights.

Instead of complaining about how your girl drags you around shopping with her, do something about it:

That’s right. Act like you’re 12 while your out shopping with the girl and next thing you know, you’re banned from shopping there ever again. Guaranteed to stop further shopping excursions from including you.